4 Things that helped our Transition from 2 to 3 Kids
I've been asked a lot lately how the transition from 2 to 3 kids has been for us.
Depending on the person, I usually keep it short by saying "it's not bad!" Because it really hasn't been. But, let's start this by stating the truth...Some of you are single moms and so 1 kid is completely enough for you. Not that I fully understand that feeling and responsibility. I can only imagine how hard it is, and how strong you are. If your husband is deployed or gone all the time, I understand! It's extremely difficult to figure out the parenting roles when your other half is gone, and it makes each transition a little harder. For those of you with traveling husbands or husbands that are just really busy providing, that also bring it's own challenges to raising and having babies.If you're prone to mastitis and have a hard time nursing, or you have to go back to work for your family, that changes things, too! Daycare is expensive and kids just get expensive. There's a lot that goes into adding another little one to your family. Some of you are foster moms or adoptive moms and that brings another aspect into mothering and transitions in your family.
So, what I'm getting at is every family is unique. There's no right answer on the perfect number of kids and the perfect spacing between them so that you can raise them in the perfect home. Because that's just not real life :)
I also want to tell you that I can honestly say the hardest transition for me was going from 0 to 1 kid. When I was a first time mom, I had no idea what I was doing, had a lot of stress from outsiders telling me how to be a mom and ultimately made me feel like the most inadequate mom out there, my husband was deployed for a couple months at different times, and I was exhausted.No sleep, mastitis 5 times, and postpartum depression were all things I experienced with my first baby....all at the same time! It was hard. REALLY hard. I was ready for sleepless nights and a crying baby as a new mom, but I wasn't ready to do it without my husband and while dealing with PPD AND getting mastitis time and time again. I was on 3 different pills at the same time. PPD pills, birth control, and an antibiotic for mastitis. It was AWFUL!
Talk about getting your mom initiation!
My hormones were cray. Fast forward 3 years and we've had 3 babies in 3 different hospitals and brought each one home to 3 different houses in 3 different cities!
With that being said, I'll share 4 things that helped us transition from 2-3 kids.
1. New Stroller - I recently got a new stroller that has been a TOTAL LIFESAVER going from 2 -3 kids!!!!! We sold off our very first stroller and decided to upgrade to something that fit more than just one kid. This stroller is seriously a game changer for me. All three boys can sit in it (Wesley sits on the front section and we bought a separate piece for the baby carseat to fit) and I can just cart them around all day and feel like super woman. I'm very thankful for it. Little things like a good stroller help so much in the transitions. You won't feel stuck at home because going out is now not that big of a deal, and going to appointments is way easier if they're all contained :) 2. My husband had time off - This changed everything for me and made the transition much easier. He was able to get four weeks off to spend quality time with the two older boys while I was with the baby. It was a beautiful season, relaxing, and everyone got enough love to go around. Without his help, I would have had to call on other friends and family to help. The last thing I wanted to do was get out everyday for appointments and preschool that first week by myself. Then when all the kids went down to bed, my husband helped me around the house, held the baby, and let me have a hot shower. Make sure and have a tribe of girlfriends or family that can help out! Asking for help is always OK!3. Preschool - I'm not a homeschooling mom, so preschool was such a blessing for our oldest and our family during the season of new baby. Wesley LOVES preschool, and his teachers and friends were godsends. He had one-on-one time with the teachers, and was able to go somewhere that was his. It was away from our family where he felt comfortable, safe, loved, and always had the best time. He needed a little something that was JUST for him. It's always Daddy, Reid, and Wesley right now. So to have alone time with Reid, and then Wesley having something special made things really helpful.4. Meals - This is kind of a funny one, but Costco meals and freezer meals were lifesavers. I lost all desire to cook when I was pregnant with our third, and that desire hasn't come back yet. Yikes! Thankfully that first month after having Nate, we prepared some meals in advance. We even bought Costco dinners, and had the best friends and family give us meals. We didn't have to worry about dinners because people are so wonderful and Costco is so delicious :) Make sure and have a friend set up a meal train or have a lot of easy meals in the freezer!
I think transitions 100% depend on circumstances and your kids' personalities.
If we didn't have a hard baby first, things would be different. It would also have changed if Andrew was deployed more, didn't have time off, or was already in Residency. If my 2nd baby was a horrible sleeper or nurser, that would have changed things. It's all circumstantial and you do what's best for your family and make it work.I think if you have 1 kid, well done. If that's enough for you, I totally get it because going from 0-1 was the hardest thing for me. Maybe 2 is your magic number! You can ride all those rides together at Disney and have a sweet close fam! If 3's your sweet spot, I'm right there with you! I'm so content with 3. If 4+ is where it's at for you, that's so great that you want a big family! Even though we've all walked different journeys, we're all mothers trying to love our families and do what's best for them.
I'd love to know what your hardest transition was and why! Comment below!
xoxoNicole