I've been through hard things, too
As some of you know, last month included a national infertility awareness week.
I saw dozens of posts on instagram of women pouring out their hearts and sharing the heart-wrenching stories of not being able to get pregnant. Some women were talking about trying IVF and their bodies not responding, and other women were saying how badly they want a baby that they can't even cope with the idea of adoption. It's devastating.I was talking to a friend and realized that 90% of my friends have gone through infertility problems, miscarriages, or extremely difficult pregnancies. I can count on ONE hand the friends in my life that haven't had any issues. Because of this, I've sat crying with those women close to me who have experienced loss, listening to their pain, and praying for healing and restoration. Even though I have never been through what they have.Just recently in one of these posts I saw on IG, a Christian girl wrote that if we haven't experienced infertility or loss, to not speak and to just listen. "Just don't speak about anything right now" were her words.
Something in me exploded.
So to the girl who said "just don't speak," do you not even realize that as moms, as believers, as WOMEN, we've ALL been through difficult things? Do I know what infertility feels like? No. But broken relationships and sexual abuse were in my cards and I hope you never have to go through those things. Individual pain cannot be compared just because you think you have it hard, even if you've walked in someone else's shoes. The "hard" in my life is different from your hard and it's different from the next person's hard. We are not the judge. Thankfully our Judge is also full of love and restores the brokenhearted.Random thoughts....1. When other people play the victim card, they are choosing to burden themselves instead of living out a life of freedom.2. When you tell others to basically "be quiet," you're silencing women that have powerful stories to tell.3. When you think you're going through something difficult, know that it's a season and walk in truth knowing who YOU are and who you SERVE. Is your God good? Is He faithful?I won't go into details, but I know what it feels like to feel empty and alone. To feel hopeless, depressed, and like you would rather be with Jesus than go through a healing and restoring process. I know what it feels like to hit rock bottom and to have no where to go but on your knees before the Lord. So believe me when I say...I get it. What I'm not saying is I get exactly what you're going through or to just "tough it out."I fully believe we have to mourn, sob our eyes out, cry with a friend, watch sad movies, drink good wine, journal, work out, go to counseling, whatever it is that helps you process. What I am saying is stop living in it...and let's put those big girl pants on :)Guess what I constantly remind myself of? Nothing in this life is guaranteed. Just because you're a good person, or kind, or have a great work ethic, or would make a great mother, or go to church doesn't mean you GET all these blessings in life and that you GET to have it all. We need to make the best of what we HAVE and please don't ever silence a women that has something to share. Because even though you haven't been through the EXACT same thing, we have all been through something.
Empower other women, let other stories be heard, cry with a woman who has been through something different than you and stop victimizing yourself. Open your eyes and your heart.
Life is rough and sometimes we don't understand why things happen.
I still ask God why He allowed certain things in my life. I still don't understand why He didn't save me from some horrific circumstances. But, I choose to believe that He is good, has a purpose, and that He is a loving God. You have to make a choice and either believe that what God says is true, or you live out your life as the victim the rest of your life and think you're the only one in the world that has it "hard." But for the love, let's please choose the first.