Thyroid Cancer : Part Two
Like I said in my last Thyroid blog post, this isn't a one and done kind of story. Although surgery is over with, I still have a lot ahead.
But, let's start with something good. Surgery went well, even better than expected, and there was less cancer on the left side of my neck than previously thought. They removed my thyroid, 68 lymph nodes and all the cancer they could find.
The whole thing was awful though and I wouldn't wish it on anyone. The pain, nausea, and neck drains. Feeling like my neck was going to rip open when I sneezed, the shots in my stomach, the lack of sleep, the IVs, and the headaches. Worst of all, the feeling that a 500lb weight was crushing my back, neck and head.
So much medication. So many slow laps around the hall, Andrew gripping my arm to prevent me from falling. I was walking slower than 80-year-olds and I was the youngest by 40 years on my hospital floor.
After I was discharged, I was wheeled out to the front of the hospital in the shade. I was sitting in my wheelchair, barely able to sit up without vomiting, neck drains pouring out fluid and blood, and I felt like death. A mom passed by with her little girl. She walked by me, looked at me, and covered her daughter's eyes. People were trying to be nice but I was getting those brief half-smiles followed by cringes.
It's a funny thing because here I am, this tall, tan, blonde-haired girl, barely in her 30's, sitting in a wheelchair holding beautiful bouquets of flowers on a sunny day. After rounding the corner, people just weren't expecting to see what they did when they got closer. No one even said hello.
It's harder to be part of the chaos than it is the joy.
I have no shame and have full confidence that I am as beautiful as ever. I do not need a pity party here. I love that I have a visible battle wound that shows what God has done and will always do in my life. But, what if we stopped expecting to see roses and beauty and showed up for people who were in pain? Because I sure wasn't wanting a conversation in that moment....but I would have loved a hello.
So, what's next?
Healing, more waiting and radioactive iodine (RAI). I've never said "Come, Lord Jesus! Take me now!" more than I have last week and those few days following surgery. I don't mean to be dramatic or morbid, but it was awful. I'm finally feeling a tad myself, sleeping a little more at night, finally finding all the tape and blood to get off my body, and even shaved my legs (one week was WAY too long).
I got my drains out last Tuesday and just had an appointment to talk about the RAI treatment which will start at the end of July. I'm FINALLY off a non-fat diet, which basically consisted of fruit, veggies, and white rice. But, now I have to start an iodine-free diet next Monday to prepare for the RAI treatment. That's going to be rough in it's own way because most salt has iodine, and we all know salt is in everything.
I still can't lift anything, drive or walk for long. But I know I will in time and that it's just a journey. :) Thank you all for your continued prayers and support and for being so kind and loving. We are so grateful!
